I feel like writing, but don’t want to go get my machine; my blankets have accepted me as one of their own. I’d hate to lose their trust, so please excuse any typos as this is from my phone.

I’ve come to an interesting realization tonight. Overall, if I look at the path I am on, its trajectory…I’m happy with what I see and the goals I’d like to accomplish (financial, career, land/house ownership, family, love). Do I falter sometimes? Oh my god yes. But even factoring in things like procrastination, a random illness or health problem, drama from outsiders…or worse family, friends and roomies, holidays, and schedules, and all of life’s interruptions from routine…I am happy with where I am going. I recognize that the pace with which I get there will ebb and flow. Sometimes progress will move at a snail’s pace, and other times, it will fly fast. 

Patience.  I must hold on to it with patience. Such an interesting statement coming from an aries like me.  When did I suddenly become a patient person?  If I look back, I always admired those who had it, but couldn’t quite find it myself.  And now?  I use it every day. With my children, especially the three year old who’s in a “testing” phase. With society, rude people or bad drivers etc. With coworkers and clients – oh how they can push me on my patience. With loved ones – hey, we all have bad days. I’d be willing to bet that there isn’t a single relationship of any type or form where patience wasn’t employed at some point in time.  I seem to have plenty of it to go around.  In fact, there’s really only one person I continue to lose my patience. One person who I don’t always have patence with.

Myself.

If I were someone else, giving me advice or perspective from an outsider, I’d say “Hey! You’re kicking ass! You’ve been happy! You’re not all the way there yet but look at the progress! Keep going!”

But I look at myself and think, maybe this, or what if that. The self doubt creeps in. And then suddenly, I’ve torn down a lot of that progress I’d worked so hard to make within myself. It’s a trap. The wrong kind of rabbit hole to fall down.  And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather make sure to fall down the good rabbit holes…new hobbies, adventures, businesses or projects.

In honor of all who wage war on themselves… I propose a pact. Together, we support one another to learn to have patience…with ourselves. To learn to embrace and work towards what lies ahead. Together. Who’s with me? 🙂

Goodnight neverland. XXO.