I had a great day.  Despite being sick and spending most of it in bed.  When I did get out of bed, I did my best to dance and cheer around the house.  It’s what happens when I get sick of being in bed.  I get kinda silly.  The folks I care about all seemed to be in good moods today too, which always helps.  When they are happy – my happiness is greater.  I found a few fun songs to bust a move to randomly during dinner, made everyone laugh.  Of course, then another wave of fever takes over and I’m back in bed hiding beneath blankets and answering anyone with a muffled “Go Away, you’ll get SICK!” to anyone who calls for me.  It’s a fun time.  I should warn you all, I’m a little drugged with a variety of meds tonight, so my writing may or may not be affected… you have been warned.

The bro made a statement yesterday that I’ve been really thinking about.  Just because you’re not skinny doesn’t mean you’re not hot.  Wow!I think for 31 years I’ve truly thought that the definition of hot was NOT plus sized.  I know it’s wrong – but look around us?  The world embraces the skinny beautiful women.  I think maybe in my twisted brain I came to believe that big could be beautiful or pretty but not “Hot” or “Sexy”.  See, and even writing that statement, I know it’s inherently wrong, but the few women who do prove that in the fashion, entertainment or even sex industries, to me are edge cases.  (Just to be clear, in my book, that means they deserve extra credit and respect because they made it to where they are with a battle of being plus sized as a hurdle they had to conquer).  Making it over that battle is not a norm; therefore, they are an edge case.   AND … most images these days are photo-shopped anyway.  You certainly don’t see cellulite or muffin tops … unless they are being deliberately called out by tabloids or articles poking fun.  But it’s still an interesting statement.  Does hotness equate to skinnyness?  No.  I’ve met some skinny people who were in no way hot – inside or out.  I’ve met plus sized folks who were amazing gems inside, and others who were ugly and cold or just plain crazy inside.  Maybe hotness isn’t about size at all.  (Sorry – flashback to a scene from the movie the grinch – … his heart grows 3 sizes because he realizes maybe that’s not what christmas is really about… that’s me right now realizing what hotness is about!)

Ok so fill me all in your thoughts.  What is hot?  What makes someone (male or female) hot?  What qualities must someone have to rank them as being hot?  Is it confidence?  Physique?  Pheromones?

I had a strange thing happen to me today.  I was straightening my hair – I figured, maybe if I showered and made an effort to look decent I’d feel better.  It didn’t work lol, but as I was going through the motions I looked at myself in the mirror.  On one hand, I look like hell.  Dark circles, pale complexion, I look sick.  But on the other I also look… I dunno.  Dare I say it… Pretty.  Hmm.  Just writing that makes me smile a little.  I don’t take compliments very well; I get awkward with them, just not used to hearing them I suppose.  There’s been a small shift for me.  I don’t look at myself in the mirror and only see flaws anymore.  I look and see a woman, sometimes a girl, but a woman who’s been through some amazing things.  She’s strong and smart,loving,  funny and kind to others, and despite still dealing with some weight issues (although those are disappearing too), she’s actually- kinda beautiful.  lol I know, I know… in my case.. I am literally the definition of hot… because I have a raging fever.  😀  Just kidding…ok, ok, going to go bury myself in my covers again…gah! I hate being sick!  I’m so BORED and sick of feeling useless!