A strange energy

There is a strange energy in the air today. Actually – for me, it started last night, but it is still hanging there. At first, I thought it was just me. I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive or touchy. But after today, I’m thinking it’s not just me.

Part of my job is to study human behavior. To understand reactions & behaviors at a deeper level and be able to clue in to what someone is really feeling or saying and what is driving them to do it. There’s a science to it – and there’s an art to it and it’s something I am constantly honing and working to improve and adjust. Because of this – I can be very sensitive to the emotions and behaviors in the people around me. I can’t tell you how often I’ve read an emotion on someone and wanted to just run up and give them a hug. I have done it actually – to complete strangers. What I saw on their face made it THAT dire.

Today – there is an antsy energy that I keep coming across. It’s impatient and edgy, bordering on annoyed. I’ve stumbled upon a few folks today who are struggling with it and no amount of me trying to comfort or soothe seems to be doing any good – so I’m just going to hang back and let everyone just do what they’re going to do. My hope is my own tribe of friends and family know that if they need comfort or soothing from me – they can always count on me, and that’s enough. 🙂

I was struggling with a moment last night. I had a silly dialog in my head that ultimately I had to just shut off and delete the script. I felt misunderstood and suddenly wondered if I’d ever truly be understood by another. But ultimately – thinking that way is silly and destructive. How can anyone ever truly understand another? All we have is our own life perspectives that color our lenses. We will never be able to pick ourselves up and place our feet in someone else’s shoes. At least not entirely. I suppose it once again filters back to the expectations we have in ourselves and those we love around us. We think that because someone is in our tribe or inner circle – that they’ll just somehow know or understand all that we’re thinking or feeling. Like magic. It reminds me of the work I have ahead of me – to keep deleting those old destructive scripts that do not serve me. To keep learning to strengthen my abilities to communicate and to stop leaning on old expectations that just don’t hold up.

So much work to do …. but truly, I’m enjoying this path towards … it’s cheesy to say enlightenment or well-being – but that’s sort of what i’m doing. It’s my path towards the best version of me. All of me.

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