The most epic of epic updates

Hello my dearest of dear readers. I realize it’s been quite literally more than half the year since I’ve written in this blog. But – I think perhaps you’ll forgive me when you learn a bit more about what I’ve been up to. I think i’ll just start where I left off…

I was struggling – with work, with myself, with trying to figure out what to do next in my world. So I did the unimaginable. I quit my job as Director and decided to do some serious traveling. I made two trips down to the caribbean – US Virgin Islands. In February and again in April.

There is something so healing about those blue waters, I get lost in them. I have always been a water baby… but there is something magical about an ocean that I can swim in without fear of hypothermia. I would literally spend 8 hours at a time just swimming and exploring. At some point – I’ll detail out all the fun travel stories – and believe me, there were MANY.

When I returned home, I worked for a short couple of months in a temporary position…. cuz dollar bills y’all…. and then realized I wasn’t done traveling. I booked a camper van for an entire month and decided to whisk me, my two children and my two dogs away on an adventure of a lifetime. We plotted our course – the goal was to make it all the way to the coast of texas and back. We would look at properties along the way – as I had it in my head that I wanted a vacation property – something I could enjoy once the kids were grown and off living their own lives (which for one of my kids is happening right now – the other still has a good 9 years to go).

It truly was the trip of a lifetime -for all of us in different ways. I think in some ways – that trip pushed me to learn new things about myself, and what I’m capable of as a single woman, as a mom, and as a friend.

There’s more to say there – but I promise they will become blog posts all on their own.

So far, this year, I’ve worn bikinis, I’ve climbed mountains, I’ve rescued a group of tourists and taught another group how to kayak. I saved a woman from drowning and held her in my arms as she had a seizure. I danced in the rain, and sang to the sea. I made friends at every turn and opened my heart to new experiences, new perspectives and new adventures at EVERY SINGLE TURN.

While in St Croix, I made a new friend had to go visit her in Dallas when I returned from my crazy road trip adventure.

Dallas was another level – and just added to the learnings I had while traveling. This time, I went as just me, no pets or kids. We went shopping and I danced around the store when I learned I was down 5 sizes from what I thought I was.

Everywhere I go – I’m learning that my energy is magnetic. It pulls people to it. 🙂 And it’s incredible.

When I returned home, I realized that purchasing property far away just didn’t make sense. So I decided to invest in myself instead. I’ve leased a commercial building and spent a couple of months turning it into a studio space. And now- here I sit in a space that feels INCREDIBLE. We will be doing a photoshoot so that I can properly show it off to the world – but i’m working on my books (yes – plural! 2 comic books!!)

Life is fricken fantastic. It’s been a LONG time since i’ve been able to say that. I’m living my BEST life and feel DAMN proud of every single second. I’m doing well still with my weight loss – but more than that – I know my worth. I see myself as a beautiful woman with a lot to offer the world. I no longer need to question whether or not I’m worthy. I KNOW it.

And it’s fucking amazing. 🙂

So, to those of you who still read this blog – please know that i’m going to be updating a hell of a lot more often. I’m going to show you the studio and share some travel stories and even share my comics because I’m fiercely proud of them and they’re BADASS! 😀 hehe.

Much love, dear readers. I hope you’re still holding on and that the pandemic and quarantine haven’t completely broken your spirit. If you’re close – and barely holding on – just know – I’m here for you. You aren’t alone. And if I can do it – we can do it with you together too. 🙂

There’s a lot on my mind tonight

So I will apologize right now if I am a little all over the place.  It’s been a lovely weekend overall.  One full of friends and lively conversation, good food and even dancing! 🙂

One of my best female friends, J, planned a party.  A formal black and red party at a local beerhall.  The rules – must wear formal attire – in black or red, and no drama or attitudes from anyone in attendance.  🙂  So I dragged my other girl (R) out.  It was nice to get all gussied up and go out.  It’s something I don’t do very often, although I have a feeling that will change now that J has successfully managed to get me to attend.  🙂 Here’s pics of R and J and myself that night.  🙂  R and I had a blast, 2 single ladies without a care in the world.  We ate oysters and mussels and just enjoyed being out.

It was good for me to attend.  I’m still coming back out of my shell.  And truthfully, this time of year, I don’t usually come out of my shell much at all.  But Saturday was fun and gave me a much needed boost of energy, I danced and sang and made some new friends and caught up with some old friends.  Tonight, I spent the evening with my daughter cooking good food and watching a movie she picked out before my son came home from his dads house.

Ben has been on my brain this week.  Actually – there’s a lot that’s been on my brain this week.  Things that have been rattling around in there range from Ben and his birthday anniversary that is coming up, to love and relationships, friendships, and just life in general.  Had someone told me 10 years ago, that this is where I’d be… I would have never believed it.  Any change or turn along my path, and things would be different.  I wouldn’t trade it, I know that things happen for a reason.  I’m ok with it… well – ok that’s not quite the right way to word it either – I accept it.  That’s enough.  Every year – around this time, I make a pact to myself – that I will not make any major decisions (if I can help it), in the months of Oct – Dec.  Grief is a funny thing – and I’ve learned my lesson in this respect.  In most cases – I can hold off until the new year on most things.  Patience is something I’ve learned to channel at this time of year.  I  miss my son.  Weird to miss some one that you only had for a short while.  And even tho it’s certainly been long enough – I still think on him and wonder.


I gave R some advice this weekend.  She was wrestling with her feelings about a man.  She knew she was falling in love, but didn’t want to be the first person to say it.  She’s loved him for a very long time.  I told her something my Nana told me when I was young.  If you feel love – you should speak it.  It cannot be held for very long on the tongue.  And if you express it… you have a better chance of working past that strange anxious feeling that you get before you’ve said it to someone for the first time- because if it is returned, then something new can grow and blossom.  And if the love is not returned, then now you know and can move forward and move on.    It’s funny – as a teenager or even in my twenties… I didn’t put much stock in Nana’s advice… but looking back now – I couldn’t agree with her more.   I’ve always said I don’t say I love you to hear it back… I say it to make sure they know.  That’s enough.


I’m going to start planning my next vacation.  I will probably go in April 2017 time frame.  I’d like to disappear for a week.  I haven’t decided yet where I want to go.  I have an idea of who all I’d like to invite to join me, but we’ll see if they have the desire to vacation with me.  🙂  I want to explore and get away.  Travel has most certainly had an enormous impact in my life, and I look forward to being able to continue to experience it.  I think my next trip will likely be a cruise, as it’s something I have not done yet.  My instinct says I won’t like it as much as I enjoy traveling as a local – but I want to experience it regardless.  It’s something Nana and Granddad would do when I was younger.  I remember them telling me stories and showing me pictures from all their many excursions.  Or try on the jewelry that was often purchased on these trips.  I’d picture the ports and destinations, the food and the events that were often a part of their stories.  My grandparents truly led amazing lives.  🙂

Can’t travel without a job.  I’m trying to not count my chickens – but I am hoping to hear good news on the job front this week.  Fingers crossed that I’ll have news either way by Wednesday!  🙂


At the end of the day – I got some news from my mom, that my grandparents aren’t doing very well health-wise.  It has me a bit worried and anxious.  I know as they continue to get older and older that at some point, I will have to say my good byes to them.  But they are mine damn it!  Haha.  But in all seriousness, I’m not ready to even think about losing them.  It makes me sad to think about. Hopefully, things will be just fine and I’ll be allowed to put my head back in the sand on this particular subject.  At least for now.

Well – it’s time to get some sleep.  Goodnight Neverland.  Much love to you!!

An adventure

I’m sitting at the airport waiting to go home. I took a short flight up to Calgary for the weekend. I went up there to relax, meet a new friend and just have a little adventure and boy did I definitely get one.

On Saturday morning, I was feeling pretty down, because my friend ditched out on our plans, so I got a massage. Afterwards, I went down to hotel bar and had a scotch. The two lady bartenders ended up talking with me and became good friends. They kept free scotch flowing in my glass.

They introduced me to a nice guy who ended up taking me to a jazz club where I danced with a 65 year old tuba player. He showed me pictures of his wife and told me stories of his own adventures.  The ladies from the bar ended up meeting up with me later and we tasted some amazing foods and walked all over Calgary.

I had a lovely conversation with a chef about canadian cheeses and even recieved an invite from her to come back and play in the kitchen the next time I am here.  She must have brought out 15 different cheeses for me to taste and try.

Then we hit a hipster bar, and I met a local art dealer. We got into a passionate debate about art and American politics.

To finish the night, the nice guy who I met told me how beautiful and kind and smart I am, and kissed me goodnight under the stars.  I didn’t get a phone number… I didn’t want it. I’m just going to keep focusing on me for a while, but these people here were lovely. They cheered me up when I was feeling pretty lost and sorry for myself and it turned out pretty amazing in the end. Should my 2 new lady friends ever come to Seattle, I will be sure to be a gracious host to them.

I was messaging my best friend as I was packing up, saying how much of a flop this weekend had turned out to be when it really dawned on me. It wasn’t a flop at all. It was exactly what I came for… an adventure.  A chance to see and do something new.  Funny, how so often in my life, I fail to recognize my own bravery and strength.  My friend pointed out some of the adventurous highlights from my life. I started a business… picked a random career… have traveled a lot and have made some amazing friendships. I have seen and experienced so many things that so many overlook or don’t take the time to experience.

And to my friend… you really missed out on an amazing weekend. I think I did your town justice tho.  Thank you for inspiring me to visit. And it’s ok that we didn’t hang out. While I don’t fully understand what happened, I can recognize that sometimes, things have to go a certain way for a reason.  I can forgive and move forward, because I care…about you, about me, about the direction that my life goes.

Hugs to you Neverland, thanks for always being there.

Planning another trip..

Lonely girl with suitcase at country road dreaming about travel.

It’s been on my mind for a couple of months… when am I going to take another trip and where will I go this time?  Because of buying the house, taking an extended vacation is really just not in the cards this year.  Which is why I’ve settled on next april.  For my birthday, I am going to plan something.  2 weeks off of work if I can somehow swing it.  An international destination of some sort.  The ability to unwind, recharge and just reset myself.

I get antsy and itchy when I don’t get a break.  I never knew this about myself.  It’s only been in the last 4 years or so that I’ve figured that out.  It’s this tension that builds in me and I just have to escape… from work, from friends, from everything for a few days.  Longer if I can swing it.  I’ve learned that if I plan something once a year, or once every other year, I don’t get so antsy and anxious or pent up.

So …. thinking through where I’m at, where I’ve been and what my budget will likely be… I’ve got a few ideas percolating.  They are as follows (and not in any particular order):

  • Ireland/Scotland/UK – go back and visit family and explore 🙂
  • Thailand
  • Fiji – because YES please!!
  • Japan or China
  • Mexico – simply because I’ve never been
  • Alaska – also because I’ve never been

So … out of those options… which would you lean towards and why?  🙂

It’s time to talk about my trip…

Ok ok, i’m a nerd for being excited to share this stuff with you guys.  But oh well.

Because I’m also trying to put them together to have a photo book printed off, this will be a great way for me to figure out how to lay them out so that they tell a story.

In FlightIn flight…


DSC_0057The view from our place (we rented the downstairs of a house away from the tourists).  The view was spectacular.  Could hear the ocean waves crashing on the shore to fall asleep and wake up to.

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The island is so incredibly breath taking.  Both sides, the tourist side and the local side.  Although I totally fell in love with the locals.  Made some new friends, really just found myself relaxing and happy and having the time of my life.

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DSC_0226Met an ass named Lady Gaga and ogled over some incredibly huge avocados and other tropical fruits.  Must have had fish or seafood at least once a day if not more.  Befriended a chef who spoiled us with fresh caught crab rangoon and a variety of ceviche’s that were just delicious.

DSC_0186 DSC_0181 DSC_0178We found some beautiful ruins.  Walking around them and taking tons of pictures was incredible.

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Found a few beaches to fall in love with, for snorkeling, swimming, lounging… tons of beaches to choose from.  I spent time every single day in that ocean.  I sang a silly song at the top of my lungs to the ocean and the palm trees.  I danced and played in the surf late at night, I saw sea urchins as big as bushes under the sea.  I also stepped on one of those suckers… but that’s another story.


T and I had a blast all week.  I couldn’t have asked for a better person to travel with.  To share an adventure with.  I’ve never felt so lucky and happy and content.  It was truly, one of the best times of my life.  I was really upset to have to come home.  I’ve recovered from that upset-ness, but I still dream of the ocean.  I still wish, on a daily basis, that I could be sitting at my favorite beach, playing dice with a few of the amazing people I met while I was down there.

But I know… it’s started something.  An itch to travel more… to see more… to meet more amazing people.  I just can’t wait.