A few of my friends are doing the online dating thing. I’ve tried it before… and it’s just really not my thing. And, it always felt like the people on those sites are looking for something very different than anything I wanted. Don’t worry – I’m staying away from anything like that these days. Heck, my interest in trying on a bunch of different guys to see if one fits probably equals my desire to go to the dentist for some drilling… there’s so many other things I’d rather be doing. I think that with the current hookup society, the idea of dating is a bit intimidating and would be quite frustrating. I’m a bit old fashioned. For me, I cannot disconnect sex and the emotions of love. So I’ve been avoiding putting myself into those types of situations until I feel that I’m ready to love someone again. It just seems safer all around…for everyone involved. And it’s worked out fine! I’m enjoying focusing on other things. And I know that eventually, I’ll stumble upon someone who fits me and I’ll hop back on the roller coaster ride of love all over again.
That said tho, I DO enjoy living vicariously through my friends. Some of the dates they go on are real doozies. I got into a conversation yesterday with friends about the notion of catfishing with photos. It was interesting to hear other people’s perspectives on the concept. What we were referring to was the notion that someone will portray them-self as one way when really they are another. So a fluffy chick might take pics from the neck up, or in particularly flattering angles in order to get a photo that she could then use on a dating website. While the photo IS her… it’s not necessarily painting a full or accurate picture of who they really are or what they look like.
Here’s my question tho… where do you draw the line? EVERYONE prefers to post pictures that they feel are flattering. Men and woman BOTH do this. And if you think about it, in this day an age of online dating, of COURSE you want to put your best self forward.
One of my friends believed you shouldn’t put the makeup shots out there, that we as a society have to do away with the duckface selfies and anything remotely similar. To ONLY be real. And while I can understand his attitude on this… and even agree with it a little bit… it’s also completely unrealistic. Never going to happen my friend!
But then you have the people that swing the other way – they post pictures that are 50 lbs ago, or 5 years ago, or both. Back when they had a full head of hair, rather than a receding hair line. I know why they post them… trying to put your best foot forward again. It makes sense. But it’s not ok to do unless you caption the photo correctly!
So.. again I say… where’s the line? It’s not like you’re going to take a photo of yourself and then using a red paintbrush in photoshop circle or draw arrows to all your flaws. That would be going above and beyond.
J, my other girlfriend says she likes to post both..the full make up, looking hot selfies, along with at least one un-makeup’d face, plus of course at least one full body shot. I think that seems like a good compromise.
So to those of you out there who are building your online dating profiles, looking for love, consider what pictures you use in your profiles. Are you really being REAL? How much of yourself do you put out there? Do you mix it up, do you caption well?
Happy Hunting and have a great day Neverland!