I get this weird mood when I know I need to sit and write.  Or worse, when it’s been too long since I’ve sat down and just released the thoughts.  In fact, I even give myself away.  I’ll start looking for people to chit chat with.  To sit and talk about good things.. life, love, music, food.. whatever.  And sometimes, when you feel like you need to talk to someone… everyone’s busy.  Life happens.  That’s typically when I’ll sit and write.  Hence my post tonight.

I’m moving.  The house is slowly transforming from a home to a pile of boxes in empty rooms.  I can’t believe the time has come. I’m both nervous and excited.  It’s a strange battle of the opposites in my head.  Elation and yet worry.  🙂  So I’m just doing my best to have faith.  In myself.  In the choices that I make daily regarding myself and my children’s well being.  Will I screw up from time to time?  Hell yes, I am only human after all.  I’m learning to give myself more credit.  I have made it on this planet for 33 years and haven’t died, killed anyone, I’ve never caused any riots or committed violent or dishonest crimes.  I’ve done something with my life.  A lot of things I’m very proud of.  Which means ultimately, I deserve to give myself a bit more credit.

Do you all self doubt?  Always striving for the best.  But where is the point of measure?  What’s the goal?  In theory – because it is life, the goal line, like the horizon, is not an ever fixed mark.  It stretches on and on infinitely.  Which perhaps, is why they say its the journey, not the destination.

Since starting this blog post, I had a topic come up that I want to take a moment and just stand on my soap box…

If someone who really knows you, asks you what’s wrong, in a sincere tone.  And you know that they genuinely love and care for you… saying “I don’t know.” simply ends up meaning one thing.  It means that in my head, I’ll be thinking “Bullshit!”  Deep down, we know what is wrong. Saying “I don’t know” to that person simply means that you’re too scared to speak up about whatever it is.  They can see and hear something is off, so speak up!  They love you – they won’t bite!

Thank you!  Goodnight!