The anger and unjust feelings I’m currently experiencing are threatening to spew out in profanity, so please excuse this post.

I pride myself on my intelligence and my ability to read people and situations.  It is when I rush, that I get caught by surprise. And yet, here I am, falling prey to a scam artist. I’m feeling sooo stupid.

I thought I was buying a dog.  A puppy for the family. Who am I kidding…a puppy for me. I started out looking at adopting a 3 yr old bulldog named meatball…but Alayna got distracted by a bulldog puppy listing and I sent an inquiry thinking about her birthday.  It’s today.  I didn’t research.  I didn’t take a step back and look at the details, I lept.
There is no dog.  They got $400 from me.  I told Alayna…used it as a learning experience. Explained why it is so important to stop and research. If they’d been legit, they’d have waited.  How it could have been so much worse, and that we learned a valuable, albeit expensive lesson.

I’m still angry though. And incredibly disappointed.  And I feel stupid and naive and dumb. I was looking forward to having a dog. Having that companionship again.  A best friend and cuddle buddy. Someone who’ll snore and slobber and give wet kisses, and be so happy when I come home. Someone who’ll need walks and trips to the park.  I miss that.  I feel like I kinda need that right now.

I feel bad for my mini me. She had kind of a crappy day and kind of a good day.  We went for dinner with my parents to a mexican restaurant.  She had a birthday sombrero and song and dessert.  We came home, played a board game, watched Robinhood: Men in tights.  We spent most of the night laughing.  I was trying to keep her mind off the fact that the ex didn’t call her.  Everyone else did.  Even some of my friends and the bro’s girlfriend said happy birthday to her or called to talk with her.

She talked to me about it.  I finally texted him around 8:30.  Typically her bed time. He asked what I was up to and I said, “celebrating”.  He asked what we were celebrating and my momma bear came out and unleashed a taste of hell. How could he do that to her? He called and I snarled at him.  He was full of excuses and attitude.  “I was busy.” Asshole.  He doesn’t get that what he does has way more ramifications than what he says.  He doesn’t get that kids are led by example and that neglect and forgetfulness can hurt way worse and do more damage than any spanking ever could.

He adopted her.  He stood in front of a judge and swore an oath to take her as his own. The birth certificate now says his name.  And yet, he makes little efforts to see her and now this. He takes our son twice a week and every other weekend, but makes very little consistent effort for our daughter. She’s a good kid.  Deserves better than that bullshit.  Sigh.

I haven’t always made the best choices in life, but, I can say that I learn from them.  Today, life threw a few lessons at me.  Tomorrow is a new day. Fresh, with no mistakes in it.  Yet. 🙂

Goodnight neverland.

XXO!