I watched a couple of movies today. I debated whether I wanted to write this post in this manner or in another fashion altogether. But I’m going with it. The first movie was the Internship. Hilarious. I laughed, and cheered and swore at the TV and then cheered some more. Yea yea, I’m a dork, I know. The second movie I watched has left an imprint. I almost need to watch it again just to get it all. The movie was called “Her”. It explores what it is to have a connection with “someone”. In this case, not even a human, but a computer. It explores what love is. It explores the human psyche, divorce, a lot of different things. It showed the parts of life and love and finding of yourself that are truly beautiful and inspiring.  It shows what it’s like to have the fear of being inadequate.  Of being an introvert.  I’d say that anyone who’s experienced a long distance relationship would relate to this movie as well. I found myself jotting down things that I found particularly moving or thought provoking, along with what must have been about 50 ideas around technology inventions. Oh the R&D team are going to either love or hate me at work. hehe.

“A heart is not a box that can be filled up. It is ever expanding.”

How true this is. And yet, so easy to forget and lose sight of. There is no concept of a heart being Full. It also means that a heart is never really empty. It is infinite. How amazing is that?! A human’s ability to feel and love is something that is truly infinite. Which means that even the coldest, most cut off hearts aren’t truly lost.

There was a scene, where he reminisced of happy times. With the wife he was divorcing. He shared his fear. Fear that maybe somehow any memories or emotions that he feels moving forward will somehow be diminished because he’d already experienced them before. It’s a fear I’ve experienced in my past. And while I know it to be not how life works – of course you’ll experience joy and happiness again… I also know in some ways it’s not totally off the mark. Your first love is likely to be remembered as something a little extra special – because it was your first.

I’m in the absolute throws of fighting a pretty mean infection – thankfully the doctor prescribed some strong antibiotics and this ear infection will be gone in no time. But I’ve spent much of the weekend fighting chills and cold sweats. I had enough of being in bed. Went and had breakfast with a girlfriend today. Was so much fun. In all the fun, we also went and had our cards read. Don’t laugh. Don’t do it. 🙂 I’m not one of THOSE people. You know – the strange nagchampa smelling, sandal wearing HIPPY people. 🙂 Nothing against them either mind you. I don’t do those things very often. I find them fascinating. I have met a few tarot card readers who are … uncanny in their accuracy. It means I respect them and their trade. Doesn’t mean others have to agree or participate – to each their own. Ok – so in my reading today, I was truly quite surprised at what came up. I never say anything. I sit and shuffle and let the person do their thing. The woman I see, her name is Raven. She’s this big beautiful african american woman. She sings soul in a jazz band as well as does tarot readings at a pagan bookstore in downtown seattle. She has a beautiful, loud belly laugh. She’s the type of person I could sit and have conversations about life with and settle in on some good food with some good music. I see her once every couple of years.

“You’ve gone through a lot of change for the positive in the last year.” – yea ok that’s kind of a duh
“You’ve recently quit online dating.” Yup.
“You worry too much about what other people think, or how others feel and are far too often a doormat for the sake of being kind” Wow thanks Raven – way to put that out there. Damn if she’s not right tho.
“Relationships and emotions are on your mind a lot” Hmm, I hate that she’s right on this one.
“you’re in a good place. Centered. Where spirit and body and mind all connect.” Yep – this is true too. I feel quite in tune with myself lately.

There was a lot more – a few things out in left field that had me surprised and off hunting for information on. But I left feeling recharged. I am on a good path. I believe in the joys of the world that surrounds me and am continually surprised and delighted by the beauty that it holds. I don’t hold as much fear about losing that joy anymore. Life is short. I’ll be damned if I don’t enjoy the joy I find and have while I can. Dream big. Fly high. Learn. Laugh. Live. Grow. And be ME. 🙂

Goodnight. Love to you all.