A new found weakness

Words.  Communication.  Human interaction.  Relationships.  These are things I think about.  For work, to navigate my way as a parent.  Even as a woman.  I crave these things.  I explore and study these things.  I seek to improve these things.  It is through these things that I find solace and comfort, where I find happiness and truth and passion, and where I’ve also found pain and vulnerability and loss.

I never read the book about 5 love languages.  I skimmed it when a friend loaned it to me, and I’ve had enough people talk to me about it that I feel I understand the basic premise.  And overall, I think it’s pretty interesting.  I believe I need a combination of 2, maybe 3 of the love languages in order to feel satisfied.  But here comes my question.  Does a person’s love language also become their weakness?  I know that words are something that speaks to me, that regular communication at a deeper, more personal level will spur me to form a deeper level of attachment to someone.  To me it seems that getting to know someone is wrought with mine fields in this area.  Especially in today’s day and age where technology leads us to do so much communication via writing.  Part of me says, then you avoid it.  At least at first.  That way, the attachment forms slowly.  But then you also run the risk of never having that form of love language in your life later down the road.  My ex’s never read books or wrote to me.  They just weren’t wired that way.  I know now that I am, but if I find someone who is wired to speak my languages – how do I protect myself from falling too fast when they use their words on me?  How do I protect myself from being manipulated or hurt by someone who figures out that words mean so much?

To me, it seems a love language, while good, can also be a weak point.  That when exploited, could lead to disastrous results.

Definitely curious to other’s thoughts on this.  Thanks for reading my ramble. 🙂

8 thoughts on “A new found weakness

  1. I am also vulnerable to words directed my way…so I get what you mean. I realize now, very late in life, that I have to make sure the actions follow the words within a reasonable amount of time. “you mean so much to me” means very little when that’s the only thing you get. Doesn’t help much with slaying the dragons of the finances, the dirty garage, the carpooling, etc.

    • Boy is that the truth. Those financial dragons and the dirty laundry leprechauns need to take a permanent vacation. 🙂 But yes – actions. I’m learning to put more and more weight on them. Thanks for reading.

  2. I used to read a lot of relationship books. And in some part, they will always mention the love letter technique or write a letter to each other that sort of thing. However, in reality, who actually does that? Only women I assume. Men don’t come across in the whole picture but only sections. As they get older, maybe it gets better. Still, it is a difference that we must acknowledge.
    I used to think words mean nothing, only action counts. But now I seek the balance of both. Words and action, both count. My answer to your question though is that you can never protect yourself from anything. It is something I am learning as well. Protect only close up yourself. Hence, you benefit nothing and enjoy nothing. Yet, it is so scary to make the first move to open…

    • True. I suppose that’s why I wrestle with it. I don’t want to close myself up. I don’t want to miss out on the joys and beauty that are present in this world just because I’m scared of experiencing more of the pain. Guess we just keep plodding along. 🙂 Thanks for reading.

  3. Never a fan of the whole Love Languages thing. It over simplifies. However, I agree that our strongest desires become our weakness. Oh yes, this is very true.

    • Agreed. I suppose that’s why I only skimmed the book. Didn’t fully hit the mark, but definitely an interesting concept. I don’t think something like human interaction and human behavior can be broken down to be so prescriptive. Perhaps that’s why it’s overly simple.
      So my question then becomes, do we try and avoid having strong desires as a defense to them also becoming our weakness? Do we learn some sense of self control? Or do we say fuck it and give into it?

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