Tag: wine

It feels good to be home

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hearthome

The house is really starting to come together.  The living room is mostly unpacked, same with the kitchen and the dining room.  My bedroom is coming along nicely, as is my daughter’s.  And this weekend, I will make my son’s room awesome while he’s at his dad’s.

A few friends who’ve been over have commented on how it feels like a home.  A place where they just want to come and hang and stay.  That is precisely what I was going for.  Something modern and clean and yet comfortable and inviting.  Where the fridge always has a favorite beverage and there’s always a tasty snack in the kitchen.  Where music is playing through the house or a good movie playing where you can curl up and watch it.

I’ve always wanted my home to be filled with love and laughter and experiences.

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And for the first time, in a very, very long time, I can see that shaping right in front of me.  It’s lovely.  I look forward to coming home everyday.  Maybe it’s the drastic contrast to the last few months with the roomies, but this is pure bliss.  I’ve got a lot of ideas of things I want to do, areas I want to set up… all in good time of course, as those kinds of projects take money to pull off.  But still – the vision is there.

I have a private balcony off my bedroom.  It’s completely private – the only access coming from my room.  I can’t wait to fill it with flowers this summer and sit and watch the sunset on it.  I can’t wait to sip coffee on it in the wee hours of the morning on the days I work from home.

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I bought concert tickets for a concert in September.  My daughter and I are both quite excited for it.  It’s been about a year, maybe even 2 since I’ve been to a concert.  My last one was The Fray.  It was a good concert, although I hadn’t listened to their new CD enough to really enjoy it, as they mostly played songs from it.

My birthday is coming up.  2 years ago, I tried planning a bash.  It sorta backfired on me and was a total flop.  🙂  Last year, I had to think about it.. I think if I remember correctly, I got tickets to go see a comic perform.  But I think the show happened later… which would explain why I don’t remember really doing much of anything last year.  I don’t know – my birthdays just aren’t really a big deal to me.  I love to make a fuss over other people’s birthday… but I feel odd doing that over my own.

I know my family will ask me what I want for my birthday this year, and at least I’ll have a good answer for once.  Stuff for the house.  🙂  Sure, it’s a bit of a cop out answer, but it works!

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Tomorrow night, I’m getting to visit with one of my favorite girlfriends.   We call it “book club” but it’s really just us going out for a glass of wine and getting to have some good quality girl chat. 🙂  I adore them, as much as I adore her.  Now that I’ve moved, I’m further from her than I was before, and before was already quite a long drive even to make the half way point.  But it’s worth it.  🙂  Sometimes, you just need a good laugh with a good girlfriend.

Today I had my final interview for a position with a new company.  Total, I’ve done close to 15 hours of interviews just for this position, but I’m excited, because I think I nailed it.  And this particular opportunity is one that I really want and would be very good at… not to mention, it would be an absolute BLAST.  The only downside to it, would be the commute, as it’s in downtown Seattle.  But I’d figure something out to make that tolerable as well.

I’m quite content right now, with the trajectory things are heading in my life.  I may not have it all figured out, heck, it’s all ever-changing.  But I feel good about it all.  I feel strong, confident, and happy.  Such a good thing.

Much love to you all, Goodnight Neverland!

lipstick kiss

Staycation Part 1

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It’s Sunday.  The house is quiet.  I am very obviously not on Orcas Island.  And … I’m completely okay with that.  I have no plans for myself for the next couple of days, and I’ve given myself one rule.  Think about (and accomplish) needs/wants only.  No stress or drama, no grumpiness, no pain.  Meaning:  No thoughts about work, no thoughts about moving, no thoughts that bring about sadness or pain.  Or at least try and remember to turn them off when they do occasionally pop up.

Yesterday was lovely.  I met with a friend for coffee, ran a few errands, and then disappeared into a favorite book store.  I filled my arms with books and hunted down a chair.  There was another woman there, and she was doing the same.  Her arms filled with books on dragons.  She had one I’d considered grabbing, as it covered the techniques of painting scales and certain textures.  I commented to her about it as she plopped into the seat next to mine and we ended up chatting about art and comics.  She’s a local artist.  Very nice woman.  We laughed about wanting to have a coloring party and exchanged numbers.  🙂

I talked to my little brother briefly yesterday.  My real brother, not the “bro” I live with. 🙂  He and I are both wanting some sibling time. He’s planning to come stay a night soon so we can stay up too late gabbing and laughing and sharing.  Then have horrible-for-you-but-oh-so-good breakfast diner food the next morning.  I’ve enjoyed watching him get older and become a young adult.  In my case, being significantly older than a sibling is interesting because you love them, and want to share everything you can with them, but know that age and maturity is a factor in understanding the choices that we make as adults or as parents.  So you don’t share everything.  Sometimes you just stay silent and stand back and watch.  I think he’s on the track to being a very cool man.  It will be interesting to see what he grows and becomes.

I came home and painted.  And painted.  And painted.  I had candles.  I had my entire music collection put into one playlist and set to “random”.  I had a glass of amazing red wine.  Ok, over the course of the night I had 2 glasses.  I was trying a new technique I’d found in a book.  I wanted to see if I could accomplish it.  I used a photo as a guide and went about trying to replicate the picture I’d found in the book.  I did it.  It’s not perfect, I somehow messed up half way through and Photoshop put a 30 px outline on all that was laid down.  So I had to go back and repaint a lot of what I’d already done.  I’m still new to painting on the computer.  It’s awkward for me, but I’m dedicated to figuring it out.  Blending just pisses me off on the computer.  You lose the ability to shade with your hands a lot.  But tablets and technology are giving me the opportunity to paint without the mess, in my living room with my feet up, relaxed.  Not hunched over an easel. I knew 3/4 of the way through that I wanted to finish my painting last night, and I knew it would hurt to do so.  My hands were cramping. 🙂 But I was so excited to see what took shape.

Should I show you all?  Please remember, I am not the original artist.  This is NOT my work… I mean – it is … I painted it.  But from a small photo.  I don’t feel right taking credit.  Shoot I feel even worse that I didn’t think to note down the original artist.  Or the book.  Bad Jen.  But here it is all the same.

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Writing and Music

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“I’ll just spend 10 minutes.”

It’s what I think every time I sit down to write a post.  I love it.  I crave it.  I sit and think about what I want to write in my next post…. I’ll be driving somewhere and have a thought or idea and start to spin a spider web of thoughts around that idea and then realize, hey that would make a great post! And invariably, I always forget what the thought was when I do finally sit down to write.  I sort of fall into a post.  I’ll start typing and soon I’m lost in the depths of a deep confession or feeling or memory.  It’s cathartic.  Sometimes it can be quite a rush.  Writing can cause deep pain, and incredible joy; it all depends on what topic is being written about.  Writing is in a lot of ways, like music is for me.

My brother has music playing loudly through the house right now.  I know he has it on random, but somehow, the random songs it plays are hitting home for me this morning.  I heard an ad on the radio yesterday that sums it up for me.

“Some people pray.  I turn my music up.”

That’s so true for me.  Music is something I use to push myself.  As my muse for inspiration.  I use it to express emotions… especially when I don’t quite know how.  Music has been a friend to me when no others could.  A shoulder to cry on, a coach to boost courage.  And what’s amazing, I know I’m not the only one who feels like that.  Music speaks to us in a different way.  It can reach even the coldest or most closed off hearts.  Our house almost always has music coming from it.  I love to dance around the house and teach my kids the different instruments they’re hearing.  My daughter is getting really good at it.  She also is really good at the guess that tune game.  Name the tune and artist of the song that’s playing as fast as you can.  If you’re good – under 10 seconds. 🙂

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Well, I suppose I should be off – have to go clean up and make the house spiffy for wine/chocolate night.  Have a great Saturday everyone!

The end of a good week…

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It’s Friday.  I am so happy for that, I can’t even capture it in words.  It’s been a long, but very good week.  I’m exhausted and worn out, but somehow energized and happy as all hell that I’m doing so well at work.  🙂  I get to have a girl’s night tomorrow night with my friend Ray.  Yay for girl talk and wine and chocolate.  Where we can gab about the men she’s dating, and work, and life.

Last night was interesting.  The ex managed to get into a massive car accident.  Which of course was somehow my fault.  He was on his way to get my daughter from daycare as I had to work late.  Thankfully, she wasn’t in the car.  But he totaled his car, and the car he hit, and really hurt the driver.  All without insurance.  (Break into song “If I only had a brain…”) I drove to the scene of the accident to offer to take him home or help out in some way.  As I stood there, listening and watching… I was reminded of how grateful I am to have gotten out.  He’s a nice enough guy when he puts his mind to it.  But he makes HORRIBLE choices.  He was slamming his fists on the car and even attempted to lie to the officer about his lack of insurance.  I said nothing.  Just watched as he dug his own hole deeper.  He was so upset he started yelling at me and I turned and went home.  When I got there, he of course called and begged me to return so I could get him home.  I’m too nice.  I drove back down there, and silently picked him up.  He ranted on the drive to his house about how this is what he gets for keeping his nose clean.  I lost it.  Told him that that was the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever heard.  Told him to take some responsibility for his own actions or inactions.  Told him to grow up.  It’s not often that I speak up with him.  I think I just kind of gave up… 10 years of fights and frustrations and anger and you get pretty defeated.  I gave him a little cash to help him get a cab for today to and from work so that his son wouldn’t have to sit at home alone and wonder when dad was going to be home for dinner.  Again – too nice.  But whatever.  He’s family.  Whether I like it or not, he is the mess that I chose.  And I’m stuck learning to deal with him for the rest of my life.  And I’ll own that.  We pay for the mistakes we make.  This is mine.  Some people think I’m a little nuts for trying to keep a friendship there.  But so far, for the most part, it’s worked for us.  For the sake of my children, and to honor the man for what we DID have… I will continue to work at keeping communication solid, I will continue to be his friend.  Even when I’d rather just throw my hands over my ears and sing as loudly as I can “LA LA LA… I CAN’T HEAR YOUUUU!!!!!” 🙂

Although I’ll admit, that would be fun too.