I’m not proud of myself today

Overall, If I were to describe my general temperament… I’d say I’m easy going and generally a people pleaser.  I tend to put my needs and wants last and will rarely gripe about it.  I’m not generally a grumpy person.  I can be stubborn and argumentative, but that tends to come out more at work than in my personal life.

Last night, I proved all of those generalizations about me wrong.  I threw a tantrum.  It’s been a long time since I’ve done that.  And in some ways, I don’t regret it because what I said, needed to be said.  However… It’s my approach that I’m regretting this morning.  Not only did I impact my own ability to sleep… but I feel like a total asshole over it, and I hate that.

I’m learning to communicate better, but I still have moments where my communications will equate to my own version of a diver screwing up and doing a belly flop.  I suppose I should be glad that I can see my own mistakes and learn from them.  That I’m open enough to self improvement and overcoming my own shortcomings that I can at least see when I’m royally screwing something up.  Doesn’t mean I can stop the belly flop before it happens, but at least I’ll know it’s coming and can brace myself accordingly.

All I want right now, is a hug and a snuggle.  A redo on my evening last night and my morning today.  Things are fine, work has been good so far today, I had coffee with the bestie this morning too which always makes my day better.  I guess I just have to shake it off, chalk it up as an opportunity for growth and call it good.

Hope you are all well, my friends in Neverland.  Happy Tuesday.  Cheers!

lipstick kiss

2 thoughts on “I’m not proud of myself today

  1. I’ve done this. Focus on the fact that what you said needed to be said, regardless of the delivery. I suspect, since it was out of character to begin with, that your tantrum came about do to frustration. To me that implies necessity. Next time just don’t let issues fester. Hope I made you feel less disappointed in yourself 😉

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