As of today, I’ve been a mother for 13 years. I’ve been a mother to my daughter, I’ve been a step mother to my ex’s son, and I’ve been a mother to my two sons. Funny, I’ve never considered mother’s day to be a day for me. It’s always been a day to celebrate my own mother and grandmother, or the children’s grandparents. Making a fuss over me, has never really been done and it’s just not something I even consider, let alone expect on this day.
And yet…
I am a mother. A good one. My children are people who I am incredibly proud of and enjoy not only looking after but befriending as they get older. I can already see the types of people these children are going to be as they get older.
Being a mother is something I always knew I wanted to be. I always wanted to have a larger family. Heck, I wanted to be the stay at home who’d do all the crafts and baking and pillow forts and weird kooky science experiments. Funny, when I look back – I had moments in my time as a mother on this planet where I did just that… and then again – I look at my time as a mom and realize just how different it all really turned out.
To Note: I’m not complaining in any way shape or form.. I am grateful for where I am in life. I just think it’s interesting how much a person’s plans and dreams for the future change over the course of time. Having a large family is just not in the cards anymore. And I’ve come to terms with that as best as I could. Besides… it kind of takes more than just me to have that kind of dream. And I’d never dream of forcing my dream onto another. I make the very most out of what I’ve got in front of me. I’ve got 2 amazing children in my life full time, and 1 amazing (ex) step son who I see as often as I can. And another waiting for me “on the other side”. That can be enough.
Becoming a parent has truly been one of the most fulfilling, rewarding, amazing experiences I could have ever asked for. Sure, there are moments when I’d like to run away with my hands covering my ears, screaming “La La La.. I can’t HEAR you!” Especially when the 3 year old is going on and on with the “Mom, I want this, or Mom I want that.” But then I look at my daughter. She’s becoming a woman. Not just a woman, but someone that I’d actually want to hang out with as a friend. She’s someone who I can already sense is going to shift and shape the world under her own to feet. She’s someone who questions the way the world works and why in way that shows me just how much she’s going to impact it. I’m already filled with incredible pride over who she is and can’t imagine my life without her in it.
Today may be mother’s day… but really – it’s a day that I remember just how much I love my children. What and who I’ve made sacrifices for. Who I continue to find and build strength for.
The family that I love and adore.
Goodnight Neverland. Much love.