Wow what a day I’ve had. Much of it was spent being screamed at. The ex. You see, it is his weekend to have the kids. And it dawned on him this week that he didn’t want to give up his valentines. He asked if I’d keep the kids. I had plans and said I couldn’t change them. He FREAKS out. I’ve heard guilt, yelling, and mean remarks about when we were married. He’s roared at me, and spun it around in such a way that I felt guilty. As if I hadn’t communicated that it was his weekend, even though I know I had, many times. I finally caved and told him he could bring my son home tomorrow afternoon. I asked if that meant he’d be taking them next weekend instead. He says no, it’ll be my weekend. I reminded him that will be 3 weekends in a row and he freaks out. I’ve just had it. I’m sick and tired of all of it. I still pay his stupid phone bill, I’ve paid 40K of OUR debt this year and he hasn’t contributed a dime. He’s shown up a few times with medical bills for my little one for me to pay. The last one I just told him… Figure it out. And now, I have had to change my plans for valentine’s day just to accommodate him and he can’t even be nice about it.
He finally said thank you. But then lied to me (I didn’t call him on it, but I know when he’s lying). I’m just sick of it all. How about the fact that I had the kids last year for valentine’s day. How about the fact that I had plans that I was honestly looking forward to FOR ONCE in my life and once again, he has to jump in and try his damnedest to ruin them.
Well not THIS time sucka! Not going to happen. I’ll shift my plans as best as I can to lunch and say “SCREW you!” in my head as I smile and politely collect my son. Why? Because THAT is now my job. To do my best to work with you, even tho you cannot plan anything, you’re wishy washy, inconsistent, and worse… completely and 100% inconsiderate to other people. Because it is healthier for you to stay in my son’s life than it is to not to. Because if I can teach my son through my own actions, how to communicate, how to handle yourself when you’re being bullied, and how to still find a way to embrace happiness, then I’ve totally done my job.
And that’s worth it, damn it!
Wow, sounds like an ex from hell.
He certainly has his moments. 🙂 Thanks for the post.
Don’t ever let him make you feel guilty. That’s what my ex did to me for years. When I started saying No. He complained but eventually backed down. If you had plans. you should have kept to them. It’s his weekend, tough luck for his plans.
See, I would, but it’s my kiddos that suffer when I do. I’d rather do what I can to keep things more zen.
All I can say is keep reiterating the phrase he doesn’t control you. You have to take control of situation Idk you alls anything except what you laid out her I can only give you my opinion I’ve been divorced since 2007 and I still have to remind him so eloquently 1st 3rd &5th esp when it comes back to back w.the 5th and 1st weekends. I 97% stick to the black and white if its in the decree we go by that its just smoother, however the medical reimbursements are still a headache but not everything can’t be perfect. Definitely do whats best for you children he needs to stick to the visitation remind him its the children that are missing out . I pray that everything gets in order. Its rare I even have to talk to mine I just hand my kiddos the fon. Yay for text I send him fyi on school functions etc if he shows he shows ,
Your ex sounds like my boyfriend’s ex-wife… expecting plans to be shifted to accommodate them, expecting bills to be magically paid, throwing financial responsibility to the wind assuming that the other party will take care of it. Yep, spot on.