The end of an emotional weekend

What a weekend I had.  My daughter had a friend over for a sleepover, and while I will not divulge details about this girl, I will share that her mom, a dear friend of mine, passed away a couple years ago.  It was… absolutely heart breaking then, and shook me to my core.  I still think about her every single day. And it’s been a long time since we’ve spent time with that family. So this weekend has certainly left me feeling emotional…  And protective over children, in general.

Last night, she asked if we could take a moment and do a group snuggle – because she didn’t get that much at home these days.  My heart broke as I snuggled both girls for a while.  I stayed up way too late, snuggling and chatting with them.  Caught up on how her life had been since we’d last seen each other.  And it shook me all over again.  I tucked them in and stayed up tossing and turning over it all.  This morning, I took them out for breakfast.  Waffles with cotton candy on top – because .. that’s why.  Just because.

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Because maybe, a little extra sweetness, be it a snuggle, a kind word, a funny story, or even cotton candy on top of a rainbow waffle … with sprinkles…. will somehow put a smile on a kid’s face.  And if that happens… maybe she’ll be able to survive this horrendous childhood that she has had.  Yea – I know it’s a stretch.  But damn it… what else can I possibly do?! She now has a standing invite to come over regularly, as well as halloween and any other time she needs a snuggle… but even I know … It’s not enough.

It’s interesting how small your own problems can become in moments like these.  I’ve cried a lot this weekend… cried for her, cried for mother, cried for the unfairness of it all, cried out of gratefulness for my own children… ugh.  I’m done crying, and tomorrow, my still partially sick butt has to get up and go to work and get my head in the game.

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It’s funny, this isn’t how I’d imagined my weekend turning out – but I wouldn’t trade it.  Maybe I needed a reminder … that my problems and stress are small in comparison to what they could be.  That I have it so much better than some, and have given my children a world that is healthy and positive and full of laughter and snuggles and love.  I have to remind myself that I cannot hug everyone.  I can’t heal everyone.  That I have to be content with helping those that I can… and not get hung up on those whom I couldn’t.

Goodnight Neverland.  I wish you all the best.

Much love,

Jen

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A Productive Day

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Love good days. I know, who doesn’t.  But today was indeed a good day. Woke up the way I like to.. not rushed, happiness, giggling and snuggles. Had a planned personal day. Coffee, eggs and bacon.

I made a massive dent in the garage. Can almost get my car in there now. Got some furniture placed throughout the house that was taking up space in the garage.

I even put some books in the bookshelf. I realized tho, I need bookshelves. I have a massive quantity of books. MASSIVE.  I had a long wall of floor to ceiling shelves, in the last house, full of books. Not sure what to do with them in this house.

I played with Grayson a ton today. Mommy was a jungle gym. We played games, pretended to be superheroes, complete with a superhero take off stance and blanket capes. We unpacked his car…a vw “slug bug” that’s battery powered that he can drive around.  It was really cheap, and is total piece of junk, but he still loves it.

The bro had his girlfriend over, we all made homemade tacos.  Was interesting to see them interact in the kitchen.  Little bickerings here and there over little things…I think they’ll learn tho. Lol. They are pretty cute, when they get along.

I feel productive. I got a lot accomplished today. I’m tired, but I also feel a bit refreshed and re-energized. I have a massive day tomorrow. Loads of work, plus I need to pack up my office for our office move as I won’t be present on Friday. I’m going to a design conference. Exciting!! 🙂

Well, time for me to sleep. Much love neverland.

XXO!

A bit worn out…

Morning.

I’m tired.  No.  Tired doesn’t really quite fit how I’m feeling today.  I’m flat out worn out.  My son is sick.  I hate it when my kids get sick because I always feel a little helpless in making them better.  Thankfully, a mommy snuggle goes a long way.  I’m doing my best to keep the sickness at bay, as I can’t really take any time off right now.  Been working my ass off at work.  I get there at 7am, grab a coffee and get started.  Last night, I didn’t leave the office until 7:30.  Let me just say – that is a LONG day.  I’m nervous for today.  I get to meet with my boss for the 2nd time since I’ve started.  It’s been over 3 weeks.  I have so much to show him, a ton of questions to ask and I want to fight for the ability to hire others, as there is too much work to do for just one person.  Fingers crossed he goes for it.  🙂

I hope to have lunch with a girlfriend of mine today.  We were supposed to meet up for lunch last week, but it just didn’t pan out for either of us.  At least that will be a nice break from the grind.

Well – I just wanted to pop in and say a hello before I headed off.  I have a longer post i’ve started, but likely won’t post until later tonight.  Stay tuned! 🙂