Dreaming of the future

It has been an amazing week.  I put an offer on a house… and can you believe it?!  They accepted!!  I’m a home owner – well… I will be once it passes it’s inspection on Thursday.  My nights have been spent surfing for ideas on decorating and pricing the things I’m going to need to pick up.  I can’t move in until April 1st, but this is it.  No more renting, no more moving.  I’m scared, excited, nervous, thrilled and terrified all at the same time.  It’s a lovely feeling.

This slideshow is just a few shots from my new home!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I never in a million years thought I’d be doing this.  It’s still a bit surreal, although it became a whole lot MORE real once I started signing all the paperwork.  I can’t wait to just get in there, to start making it feel like home.  I’ve been going through my stuff, trying to figure out what furniture and larger items I’m going to keep vs. donate.  It’s been quite a cleansing experience, at least so far.

Hope you all are well.  Much love!

lipstick kiss

Some nighttime rambles…

The more I unpack and work to turn this house into a home, the more often I have these lovely little moments; when I’ll walk into a room and in a certain spot, a particular view across the house leaves me feeling a sense of warmth, safety and security that I’ve never had before.

The last week I’ve had off has given me the time to really put in some effort on things around the house.  I’ve planted plants and have been working on the back patio area and the front lawn.  I want to build a privacy fence so that I can have a garden out there that we can sit and enjoy and not feel like everyone is watching.  I can imagine trees and plants and flowers, maybe a little park bench;  a little secret haven, a sanctuary away from the daily grind.

I’ve spent the last two days working on a new project.  Refinishing the master’s bathroom vanity.  It turned out so great that I was inspired to keep going!  I’m going to do the same treatment in the house’s main bathroom.  And today, when I’d finished the vanity, I kept going and refinished a beautiful piece in the front entry way.

I’d never guessed that I’d like refinishing furniture.  Who knew?!  I can see a fairly serious hobby forming.  🙂  It’s fantastic.

I’ve had my brother staying for the last day or so.  He’s helping with some of the heavy lifting I need done.  I need to have a serious talk with him tomorrow, and honestly, I’m nervous for it.  Really nervous.  I love that stupid punk ass kid.  But he needs a fricken knock in the head.  He even comments about how he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life.  How he needs to figure it out.  We talked a bunch about it, but then I see what he does all day.  He’s never going to pull himself out of this rut that he’s in unless he actually is willing to change his habits, change his behaviors.  He gets upset because my Dad is always angry with him.  I can’t really say that I blame him.  My brother has no awareness of how what he does affects other people.  He’s quite innocent in that way.

The dog situation… sigh.  That whole thing has just thrown me for a major loop.

I wanted that dog, so badly.  He was an amazing animal.  But with my son being the rambunctious 4 year old that he is… I’m sad.  Heck, I’m more than sad.  I wanted a new pet.  I’ve wanted a new pet for about a year now.  I like that type of companionship that you get with a pet.  And now, it kind of feels like the whole thing is off, dogs, cats.. doesn’t matter.  When, originally, the plan was June.  I’m bummed.

Well – it’s time for sleep.  Goodnight Neverland.

I get a new beginning…

Image

I found a house tonight.

I think it’s perfect for me and my family.  For now at least.  It’s in a great neighborhood, lots of kids, lots of families.  It’s large enough to fit us all, but not nearly as gigantically huge as the one I’m in now.  Which means I get to downsize, get rid of a lot of memories and start fresh.  And let me tell you, I am SO excited for it.  I get to decorate how I want to decorate.  Everything will be where I put it.  Not counting the kids stuff of course.  My room will be what I make it to be.  An oasis.  A place where stress disappears and comfort and happiness overwhelm the senses.  It might take me some time to pull it all off of course, but I’m so excited for it.  I’m going to have to start looking on pinterest for ideas.

The bro is in a happy relationship – and should it go well, even he is talking about how in a year or so he’d be moving on to greener pastures.  🙂  And that has me elated too.  Not because I don’t like living with him.. hell, I actually can honestly say I enjoy the hell out of it most of the time.  But to be free to walk my house half naked on occasion…. yea sorry – that sounds kinda nice too.

Image

I feel like this will be the house I get my jumping off from.  I’m working to rebuild my credit.  It’ll take me a couple of years to really get a handle on it – but i’m determined and dedicated to it.  I figure in 3-4 years, I’ll have the credit and the savings to look at purchasing a home.  I could picture my Christmas tree in this house.  Gosh – it’s only May and I’m already thinking of Christmas – but what can I say?  I’m feeling thankful for the happiness I have managed to somehow find and nurture.  And Christmas is a happy time for me (usually).  Thinking on how I got here, it was through a couple of things.  Attitude shifts in myself really.  A belief, that if I continued to try, and not give up, and think positive, that life would find a way around and things would work out.  Might not be as I’d originally thought, but it would work out somehow in the end.  And look, in just 4 short months I’ve already had quite a few big wins.  After 6 months of mind numbing boredom at a company that didn’t know what to do with my team or it’s talent – I left that job and found a very challenging, thriving team to join at a company I love and didn’t want to leave in the first place.  I was getting a bit stagnant in my desire to move from this house we’re in – we’re comfortable and I hate moving – but I also hate the big house, it costs so much to heat and maintain and rent is high as well – forcing function by having the owners move back – almost panicked over the thought of not finding a place…but stayed positive about it – and today – bam! the most amazing private owner I could ever deal with is now going to be my new landlord.  I’m so super stoked.

Image

I want to plant flowers. 🙂  It has none right now, and that just makes me sad.  It needs a rose or two.  And a lilac tree.  It needs lavender, poppies and rosemary.  A daphne adora bush – as they are my all time favorite amazing smelling flower.  Some daisies.  🙂  It needs some love.  🙂

Image