It’s my first day back at work after having a lovely holiday vacation. It was challenging to get up early this morning – serves me right for not at least trying to stick to my normal schedule. But ultimately, it feels good to be back to work, and so far, today I’ve been very productive. It’s nice to know I only have a few more hours left of my day.
Did you all have a nice holiday? Honestly – I think I can say that this has been the best holiday I’ve had in a long time. It was spent relaxing and doing the things that I wanted to do. I visited my grandparents and hung out with friends. I stayed up late watching comedy and binge watched a few new shows. Christmas morning, we had our annual nerf and silly string battle. It was pretty epic this year, as I managed to secure an entire case of silly string. What a giant mess THAT made – but was soo worth it! 🙂
I’ve been dating someone. I know – shock!! We’ve been seeing each other since October and over the holidays – we officially became a couple. I’m so happy and content right now. I’m not typically the type of girl to sit and gush about someone – especially in a public forum – but I honestly cannot help myself. Meeting him, falling for him, loving him… it was all unexpected. I was perfectly happy and content being single and staying that way. Who knew?!
This man makes me light up. I’m confident and comfortable when I’m with him. Yea – I’ve had a few moments of anxiety pop up – but what’s interesting to me is that even when they do – I can usually spot them for what they are. Old habits that are hard to kill off. Old insecurities that have no relevance with him. So it’s been fairly easy to squash those icky worries when they pop up. He’s met all my close friends. And shockingly – even my brother likes him!! That has NEVER happened before, in ANY of my relationships. So I’ll call that a huge win. At some point, I’ll introduce him to the rest of my family – although I’m in no rush there.
It was my children who ended up showing me just how different this one is. In the past – they were kind of indifferent to anyone I dated. In some cases, that was simply because they didn’t get to know whomever I was seeing (hey – a mom has to protect her babies!). With my ex… they got to know him. And although they liked him well enough – they never built much of a relationship with him. With this man… it’s been different. They got to meet him fairly early on, and he’s done an amazing job of making them feel included and special. My son bragged about how he had a youtube watching snuggle and napping buddy to my step dad over the holidays. Melted my heart to hear how much of an impact was already being had on my son – and scared the crap out of me all at the same time. It’s one thing to risk my own heart – it’s another ball of wax to watch my kids open their hearts to someone, knowing they could get hurt too. But I have high hopes. I’m fairly certain this man understands that they are my world and that I would do anything to keep them safe and happy.
I’m enjoying the happy coasting stage… where life is just simple bliss. Where there is comfort in knowing that I’m in love with someone who’s perfectly happy falling in love with me right back. And even if this is all I get… and things don’t turn into something more… I’m grateful for all these feelings and all this joy. I needed it. More than I knew. It’s shown me what I was missing, it’s shown me how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve really changed from the girl I was before. I’ve had opportunities in my life – a few times in fact – where love has stared me in the face. In some cases, I embraced it head on – and in others, I ran with my tail between my legs. I’ve been hurt, and I’ve (unintentionally) hurt others. It is the nature of life in all it’s glory. Right now – my only plan is to keep going. To enjoy and embrace everything I can when it comes.
Love to you all! Goodnight Neverland.
