A Quick Unwind Before Bed

It is 8 o’clock and I’m going to fall asleep here very soon.  I woke up at 5am, left my house at 6am and still didn’t get to work until 8:10am; and it took 2 hours to get home after a full day. It’s weird, I don’t want to go to sleep yet because I feel like I just got home and there’s still some things I’d like to get done, but I can barely keep my eyelids open, so writing in here was my compromise to myself.

happy_birthday_ben_0_550

It’s Ben’s birthday tomorrow.  And I’m not sad or feeling anything heavy about it this year.  For a brief moment, I had a twinge of guilt writing that… but it’s ok to move past that heavy, sad stage of grief.  At least that’s what I’m telling myself.  I’d think it’s actually quite healthy.  It HAS been 7 years.  I think about him daily.  Just a brief thought here and there.  I still talk to him often… and when things in life suddenly go my way, I often say “Thank you Ben!” as if some how he had a hand in it.

Today was day 2 of the new job, and so far, I’m absolutely thrilled to be where I am.  The people seem passionate and enthusiastic about the company and our product and services.  I’m already knee deep in research, with pages and pages of hand-written notes and questions and things to look up or research.  My first couple weeks on a job can be pretty intense.  I try and dive in to understand as much as I can as quickly as I possibly can so that I can start to be put to better use.  It’s a lot of fun for me, but also quite draining.  By mid afternoon – my brain decides it’s done and becomes more like mush than anything workable.  Hehe.

This weekend I’m going to either attempt to make some homemade lotions, or I’m going to continue to practice at candle making.  My last big batch turned out AWESOME!  Now I really need to start playing with scents.  Figure out the balance of scent to wax that I prefer.  I’m enjoying using essential oils.  It’s really been a fun hobby to play around with, and my friends will benefit come christmas time, because I’ll certainly be including them with their gifts!  🙂   These are some shots I took from my last 5 batches. 🙂

 

Well – I need sleep, sorry that this is a bit short tonight.  Goodnight neverland!  Dream sweet!

lipstick kiss

An adventure

I’m sitting at the airport waiting to go home. I took a short flight up to Calgary for the weekend. I went up there to relax, meet a new friend and just have a little adventure and boy did I definitely get one.

On Saturday morning, I was feeling pretty down, because my friend ditched out on our plans, so I got a massage. Afterwards, I went down to hotel bar and had a scotch. The two lady bartenders ended up talking with me and became good friends. They kept free scotch flowing in my glass.

They introduced me to a nice guy who ended up taking me to a jazz club where I danced with a 65 year old tuba player. He showed me pictures of his wife and told me stories of his own adventures.  The ladies from the bar ended up meeting up with me later and we tasted some amazing foods and walked all over Calgary.

I had a lovely conversation with a chef about canadian cheeses and even recieved an invite from her to come back and play in the kitchen the next time I am here.  She must have brought out 15 different cheeses for me to taste and try.

Then we hit a hipster bar, and I met a local art dealer. We got into a passionate debate about art and American politics.

To finish the night, the nice guy who I met told me how beautiful and kind and smart I am, and kissed me goodnight under the stars.  I didn’t get a phone number… I didn’t want it. I’m just going to keep focusing on me for a while, but these people here were lovely. They cheered me up when I was feeling pretty lost and sorry for myself and it turned out pretty amazing in the end. Should my 2 new lady friends ever come to Seattle, I will be sure to be a gracious host to them.

I was messaging my best friend as I was packing up, saying how much of a flop this weekend had turned out to be when it really dawned on me. It wasn’t a flop at all. It was exactly what I came for… an adventure.  A chance to see and do something new.  Funny, how so often in my life, I fail to recognize my own bravery and strength.  My friend pointed out some of the adventurous highlights from my life. I started a business… picked a random career… have traveled a lot and have made some amazing friendships. I have seen and experienced so many things that so many overlook or don’t take the time to experience.

And to my friend… you really missed out on an amazing weekend. I think I did your town justice tho.  Thank you for inspiring me to visit. And it’s ok that we didn’t hang out. While I don’t fully understand what happened, I can recognize that sometimes, things have to go a certain way for a reason.  I can forgive and move forward, because I care…about you, about me, about the direction that my life goes.

Hugs to you Neverland, thanks for always being there.

Update: My bucket list

It’s been a year since I posted this … figured I’d update it and cross a few things off.

1. Go on a long road trip on a motorcycle.
2. Skydive
3. Get in a food fight
4. Learn to surf
5. Publish a book
6. Ride a hot air balloon
7. Go grape stomping and make wine
8. Go scuba diving
9. Ride an elephant in Thailand
10. Explore a real castle
11. Attend a ball
12. Eat sushi in Japan
13. See the cherry blossom festival
14.  Design a video game
15. Attend SDCC
16. Achieve my ideal weight
17. Learn to ski
18. See the amazon rainforest
19. Climb a mountain
20. Paint a mural
21. Make a CD – in a professional recording studio
22. See the aurora borealis
23. See the pyramids
24. Send a message in a bottle
25. Buy a house
26. Go on a cruise
27. Visit New York
28. Visit Vegas
29. Cook through an entire cookbook
30. Fly first class
31. African Safari
32. Experience Zero Gravity
33. Explore the Louvre
34. Visit Tuscany and experience “the Tuscan light”
35. Fly in a fighter jet
36. Drive on a race course as fast as I can go
37. Play a real game of poker in a casino
38. Go to the airport and take a random flight for a weekend
39. Experience Mardis Gras
40. Be at Times Square on New Years Eve
41. Get hypnotized
42. Speak at a design convention
43. Milk a cow
44. See Stonehenge
45. Meditate in a temple in asia
46. Rent a bus and party with friends
47. Set up a soup kitchen
48. Dress up in disguise for a day
49. Camp on a beach
50. Make a cherry pie with a lattice top
51. Throw a boomerang
52. Spend a day in bed… NOT sleeping 😉
53. Be “stranded” on an island for 3 days
54. Attend the Olympics
55. Kiss under the mistletoe
56. Be a part of a flash mob
57. Attend a murder mystery dinner
58. See real fireflies
59. Skinny dip in the ocean
60. Sex on a beach
61. Swim in a tropical ocean at night
62. Taste a sprouted coconut
63. Buy an investment property
64. Make someone smile every single day
65. Learn to play guitar
66. Go 140 mph on a motorcycle
67. Take a pottery class
68. Make stained glass
69. Flip a house
70. Attend my kid’s graduations
71. Meet my grandkids (this better be a LONG LONG time from now lol)
72. Join the mile high club
73. Take a bubble bath with someone

It’s Friday…

Second favorite F word

This week has been a long one.  Not in a bad way, just in a, I’m entirely grateful that it is almost over.  This weekend, I’m going on a road trip to a place I’ve never been.  I’m seriously excited as all heck for it.  I love going for a long drive.  It becomes an adventure.  What things will you see?  Who will you meet?  I find that I need to have little get-aways throughout the year in order to keep my own sanity.  This weekend is sure to fix me up good to last for at least another month. 🙂

What are you all up to this weekend?  Got any fun plans?

It’s summer time in Seattle…

It’s warm.  There are few clouds in the sky… and the few that are seem to take the shape of dragons and fish and bears with ice cream cones.  The kids and I were laying in the backyard cloud watching earlier.  I love doing that.  I got off early today.  I will likely get the opportunity to do that all this week and I’m loving it.  I went in to set up the new office studio.  I was finally given permission to hire a team at work, and I’ve chosen two people who have worked for me in the past that I enjoy tremendously.  Oh the trouble we are likely to cause. 

I’ve got to take my fridge in, set up the bar.  They’ve already given me their requests as far as the booze to keep in stock.  Funny…because really, I’m not much of a drinker.  I’m kind of a light weight at times.  BUT – that said – I do like a good tequila and I do like white Russians…so I’ll keep some of those ingredients on hand for the random 4 o’clock drink that I know we’re all likely to have on those tougher days.  The new office space was pretty dismal when I first walked into it this morning.  But I quickly got to work, turned on some tunes, started re-arranging office furniture and putting up pictures and posters and toys.  I got a few people nervous when I started climbing up on desks in order to reach the ceiling – I’m not known for my gracefulness – I’m a down right klutz. 

The studio isn’t finished yet, but it’s a lot better now with color and silliness on the walls.  My bitch be good stick is hanging right next to the sign that says to come to the darkside, we have cookies.  There is a yoda poster, a monty python silly walk poster, a despicable me minion poster.  Some art, some comic pages that I find particularly well done, and toys.  The toys make me laugh.  I’m not a collector of things.  Never really have been.  My house doesn’t have a lot of knick knacks.  But my office?  I think the people I work with get my sense of humor…and then bestow odd gifts to me because of it.  I have a weird coconut voodoo doll, some zombie apocalypse nerf gear, a fake Oscar award that a team gave me to me for being an awesome boss, there’s a wind up bunny that hops, a giant black pirate rubber duck.  Pieces from a homemade mini golf course my team and I built a few years back that I couldn’t part with.  An android doll – which I’ll admit, I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with having on display now that I’m back at the borg.  There’s a microphone statue – because a coworker knows I used to be a singer and wanted to do it professionally.  My nerf gun collection along with my box of ammo – although now I cant use most of them because as I’ve left teams over the years, people have written their names and goodbye messages on a nerf dart and that seems to be all that’s left in my box.  Will need to remedy that.  Geez the amount of nerf gun ammunition I have purchased over the years – I should really get stock in Nerf.  My tape dispenser is a little man sitting on a toilet…under his butt is my paperclips.  I want a zombie statue.  I have some interesting lamps because I hate florescent overhead lighting.  I’d love some cool funky speakers.  I also have a massive bean bag chair – but I have no idea where to put it, the new studio space isn’t big enough for it.  Maybe I’ll take over a small space near the kitchen for it – see if anyone complains.  🙂 My office has always been the place people say is the fun zone.  It used to be worse – I used to have massive amounts of legos and silly putty…but I haven’t set that up since before I went and worked at the telecom.  Might consider doing that again, we’ll see.

Came home, took a 20 minute nap and then got into an epic water fight with the kids and the bro and his girlfriend.  It started out innocent enough.  Cheap squirt guns I bought last weekend at the drug store.  It escalated to the bucket my son likes to use for sand castles.  And then the bro disappeared into the house with an evil grin and came out with my canning pot.  That pot easily holds several gallons of water.  The backyard quickly erupted into screams and hysterical laughter.  My son was so cute, running around with a bucket, taking aim, throwing it with all his might and missing – then laughing and saying “GOT YOU!”.  Ahh to be 3.  Good times.  Now the kids are eating dinner and the house has quieted down a bit. 

I’m tempted to do some painting tonight.  I’m working on a painting for T.  He knows I’m working on it, so it’s not exactly a surprise – although the content and subject of the painting is.  I’m nervous to give it to him.  I really hope he’ll like it.  Painting and art is very personal – both for the artist and the people who enjoy it.  I’ve never painted a painting for someone in particular before.  I’ve always just painted for me and if someone liked it – awesome.  I guess we’ll see.

I’m down another 9 lbs this week.  I’m surprised by it actually because I haven’t been doing my swimming routine like I should.  BUT seeing those pounds disappear is just another reason to stay motivated and keep going.  🙂 

Alright, the mini-me and I have a date tonight.  🙂  We’re going to eat cupcakes and watch another installment of Jericho.  🙂 She’s obsessed.  HAS to know what’s going to happen next.  hehe.  She’s excited because she’s going to come to work with me tomorrow.  I’ve never let her come with me before – I have no idea what she has in her head that it’s like.  I’m sure she has visions of nerf battles and lego building and quite frankly I hate to disappoint her.  Yes, mom has fun at the office, but mom also does do actual WORK.  🙂  Shock and awe, I know.  We’ll go out for lunch together and I’ll let her try and beat me at ping pong or foosball.  I’m sure she’ll love that.

Hope you all are well.  Goodnight Neverland!  XXO!