Tag: business

When you decide to give in to hope

JenLeave a comment

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Hope is a funny thing.  It’s just a desire or a want.  And when you decide to just give in to it, you throw your hands in the air and just wait for whatever is going to happen to actually happen.  A person’s hopes and dreams are ever changing. morphing as you age and experience more of life.  It almost makes you wonder how anyone is supposed to keep up.

When I look into my future… I’m hopeful over so many things:  Success for my side business, Happiness and health for my children, Continued success in my day job.  I’m hopeful that I will continue to learn and grow.  That someday, I’ll master the art of healthy communication, and find myself surrounded in healthy relationships.  I’ve learned so much – thanks to counseling and reflection, but I’d be kidding myself if I thought that was enough.  Now it all comes down to continued practice and learning. And sure, I could stress about it, worry over it, try and find a way to gain some sense of control over it all – or I could just throw my hands into the air and give in.  Give my all.  and just be patient.  It’s not something I do well.  Patience isn’t a virtue I possess typically – but maybe that’s the point of this lesson.

I’ve got some christmas music playing, and I’m snuggled under a blanket on my couch as I write this post.  The kids aren’t home for the day yet and I’m enjoying some quiet time.  I should be down in the lab… I still have quite a bit on my to-do list to tackle before my event at the Pottery Barn on Sunday, but I think I needed to take a moment and just let my thoughts flow first.

I love the labspace for my business.  It’s taken over the downstairs of my home.  Stainless steel tables, melters, shelves full of bottles and barrels of all sizes, jars of colors lining a wall.  It always smells different in there.  Yesterday it smelled like apple cinnamon… today it’s a white sage – very clean smell.  Of course, the smells change based on what I’m making or packaging or curing at the moment.  It’s become my playroom for art projects and fun experiments.  I have a new experiment brewing in my head that I can’t wait to attempt.  It’s funny to think that this time last year, the lab didn’t exist downstairs.  I was just messing around in my kitchen.  How far we’ve come in such a short amount of time.  It’s funny – I get so impatient with my progress – the business is not (yet) where I thought it would be.  BUT… then I think back to the days I started and ran JW.  It took me 3 years to build that company up enough to be stable and consistent.  And in my first 2 years, I made a couple decent flubs of mistakes…. learning curves!  So I’m trying to cut myself some slack this time around.  But it’s hard.  Damn that aries impatience.  🙂

But we’ll get there… once again – this is something I just have to give in to hope on.  Keep busting my butt …. it’ll come about in it’s own time.  And when it does – this dream will be a reality.  The dream of having my own shop.  To leave the tech world for a while, work the shop, write a book… maybe consult here and there on those special projects the tech world needs me for.  I’ll get there.  Just keep swimming…

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Update: It’s been a while

Jen1 Comment

First off, I suppose I should apologize.  You see, I use writing as a release.  When I’m feeling down, or lost or anxious… writing helps me find a way to vocalize whatever it is that’s weighing me down.  And once I can do that, once I process it – I can let it go.  But in the past few months, I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster, and haven’t really had the desire to do much writing about it.  So.. here it goes… a brief update on all the busy happenings that have been my life since I last wrote.

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My side business is doing very well.  I imagine at some point towards the end of the year, that it will no longer be a side business… but something a bit more on the main business side of things.  It’s exciting and has been a lot of fun.  My best friend and my daughter are both heavily involved and it brings me a lot of joy and fulfillment to work on it with them.  Not to mention, I can pour my creativity into every new recipe or batch.  I won’t lie, a LOT of my time has been poured into my business… between making the products and making sure they have the proper cure times, researching recipes and new products to add to my lines, testing batches, labeling & packaging, shipping, marketing, attending pop ups or shows… it’s a LOT of work!

I had a bit of a health scare for a few months.  Ended with me having a procedure that, at least so far, has given me some answers.  I’m learning how to manage.  Some days, I have more energy than others, but I’ll be damned if I’m just going to sit by and feel sorry for myself over it.  I’m unique. LOL.  That will have to do.

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I’ve attended a few events, a fair, have visited a few farmer’s markets and even had the privilege of participating in an east indian wedding… such an incredible experience. And the photos.. let me tell you!  All the colors!!!  Such a treat.  It’s been a lovely summer so far, and it’s not quite over yet.

My daughter and I are planning a mural on the long fence that is on one side of our property.  We’ve got a few scenes we’ll work into it, and we’ve spent a decent amount of time planning it out and discussing each scene.  I’ll be buying the paint & supplies tomorrow and we’re both pretty excited to get it going… even if it will take a while to complete it.

Mid-way through August, I’ve rented a little cabin for a couple of days.  I’m hoping the new Kayaks that I’ve ordered will be here, but if not, I’ll use one of the old ones.  I’m really looking forward to it.  To get out, explore… whether it’s by car, foot or boat.  To have nothing pressing, no rush to do anything except what I want.  There’s even a hot tub… so if I want to relax and soak under the stars… I can.  🙂  Absolute bliss.  I’m craving a little quiet.  To slow down and just watch the world around me.  I’ll be sure to bring my camera.  I like to capture that which inspires me.

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My day job has been going really well – we’ve been taking on a few projects that really have me excited.  I’m enthusiastic to see how they go… projects often morph and take on a new direction from how we first imagined them.  It’s a bit like watching your child grow up – and now you can’t really control what direction they take.

I’m still consistently losing 2-5 pounds each week.  I’m pleased by that.  I know I’ll plateau again… will just keep going.  The way I see it, it took me a while to put on the weight – going to take just as long to take it off.

I’ve had an interesting couple of weeks actually – my roommate/nanny is going to be moving out at the end of August.  There’s been a little drama here and there in regards to that… so I’ll be happy to have the house back down to me and the kids.  Shoot – I can’t wait to feel comfortable getting juice from kitchen in my undies again! LOL.  But between her drama, and some drama with our neighbor behind us who wasn’t happy when my daugher washed the car and streams of water went into his yard, and the fact that I had to once again stand up to the ex to remind him that I don’t deserve to be treated with verbal abuse when he’s not getting his way… I’m so over it.  And truthfully, my confidence has taken a hit this week.

Normally, I don’t let things like this get to me.  Not really.  I may be upset for a few minutes, but truthfully, I calm down pretty quick and get over it.  But people this week, have left me feeling a bit confused, and more than a little lost.  I don’t think I was expecting it, so of course, it tripped me up a bit.  But I’m working through it.  I think it’s just a moment when I have to consciously decide that I will continue to just be me.  To unashamedly… Be. Me.  To do what I always do… to keep on keeping on.  Take me as I am, or leave me be.  I don’t think that can be a poor choice.  I suppose it would depend on how emotionally healthy “Me” is in this scenario… but in this circumstance… I feel pretty good about that.

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Some thoughts before bed…

JenLeave a comment

It’s been a long day.  Overall, a good one, but still.. a long one.

I’m bundled up all cozy, fresh from a long soak in a hot bath.  One kid is in bed, the other is watching a movie and doing teenager things on her phone.  Me?  I craved a little soft music, some candle light, and to just let my fingers fly over the keyboard.

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I had a moment of absolute frustration and annoyance this morning.  It’s not like me to get so grumpy.  I had good reason… but I had to take a moment and reset myself.  I like to call it an attitude adjustment.  🙂  And I’m grateful for it, because the rest of the day was lovely.  I got some good work done, and then after my day job’s work was complete, I finished up all the bath bombs I needed to make to take to my event in 2 weeks.  I now have all my stock for lotions, bath bombs, and bubble bars.

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I’m 90% of the way there with candles and 50% there with sugar soaps.  Then … the show will be here!  Then a month later – we’ll have a second show – at the Pottery Barn! 🙂  I’m so excited.  There’s so much to do and plan! It’s crazy to think about how quickly this has all gone down.  I started exploring this path in October… and now it’s February and things are exploding!

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We had a snow day yesterday and today, and I get to work from home the rest of the week. The nanny had some personal business out of state to attend to, so I had to arrange to be home for the kids.  I’m aware of how lucky I am with my job.  They are pretty dang good to me.  🙂  I’ve enjoyed being home with the kitties.  Music going, fuzzy blankets, purring cats, and no commute… yes please!  Why can’t every day include those things?!

Have you all been following what’s going on in this country?  What am I saying – you can’t get away from it these days..so of COURSE you are to some degree.  Truthfully, I’ve tried to stick my head in the sand and just try and get through the next four years… but the more that happens, the more anxious I feel about everything.  What is going on in this world that I call home?  Maybe I’m the strange one, but I believe in honor, integrity, and love.  I’d rather lift up my fellow human beings that also occupy the same planet that I do.  I don’t give a rats ass if someone is black, white, green, muslim, christian, or even if you worship BACON! Who CARES?!  I think for the first time in my life, I worry for my children.  I worry for my friends, for coworkers who are here on visas and are just as much my family as the folks who share my DNA.  Hate doesn’t flow thru me.  I don’t have some sense of entitlement that says I should be given X,Y, or Z.  That’s not how life works!  You work, you earn it.  You find a way.  You honor those around you, you give respect to be given it.  I’ve seen more hate.. more anger, more willful ignorance in the last 6 months than I’ve seen in my 34 years.

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My dad said he voted for trump because he hoped that he’d shake up the government, and we’d be forced as a society to re-think the way our government works.  Interesting approach.  And maybe – with all the protests and everyone talking – maybe that’s where we will be headed.  But I just don’t know.  I was not a trump supporter during the campaign, and I’m not a fan now, but I still – oddly – have hope.  Hope that maybe we – the people – can somehow come together.  Embrace the fact that we all have at least one thing in common with everyone else.  We are all human.  Maybe that has to be enough.  Maybe if we start there – we can figure out a way towards peace and prosperity for all. Maybe if we start there – Love can prevail.

Goodnight neverland.  Much love to you and yours tonight.

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Lead in to the holidays… with some frustration!

Jen1 Comment

Hey – so it’s been a few weeks since I’ve written.  It’s been busy – prepping for the holidays, dealing with a very mean virus that pretty much put me down for the count for a solid week, working on my side business.  Life overall, has been pretty good.

BUT…

I also find that in the last couple weeks – my frustration is up, for many reasons.  There’s something about this time of year – it brings people out from their hiding spots to say hello.  In most cases, this is great, as I enjoy catching up with old friends and family.  But it’s the ones you wish would stay in their hiding spots that bother me.  Those people who are so desperate for affection or god knows what else during the holidays – who you don’t hear from any other time of the year.

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“Hey there…”  I get a message on my phone.  The number is not in my phone – therefore I immediately know that whomever this contact is, wasn’t warranted as being worthy of being added into my phone.  Approach with caution! lol.

“Who is this?”

“Oh hey – we talked briefly 3 years ago on OKCupid.. I kept this number.  What’s your name?”

Hold up… hold the phone.  There is so much that is wrong with this situation.  First off – you kept a phone number for someone you don’t know for 3 years all because at one point we talked on a dating app?  What the hell am I saved in your phone as, Girl No. 87?  Second of all – you reach out …. after 3 YEARS of NO contact… to what?  Continue the conversation out of the blue, as if I’ve been waiting patiently for you to respond?  UGH!

Few minutes later, I still haven’t shared my name… cue the dick pics.  Seriously dude?!  If I haven’t talked to you in 3 years, I’m not responding much right now, and you don’t find me on the dating site that we met on to begin with – what on EARTH makes you think it’s ok to send me dick photos?  Do you think that by receiving pics of Mr. Winky that I’ll fall all over myself to meet you, and then let you sleep with me where in all likelihood, you’ll get off and I won’t?!  Because obviously if you’re this desperate – your skills are likely lacking.  F-That!

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I met someone recently who managed to make my aries anger monster come out in full force.  It’s actually pretty rare that someone pisses me off, as I’m pretty even keeled in general.  I was having a conversation with a few folks at a sports bar – we were talking about the dating world and how things have changed over the years.  I had stated my opinion about sex.  That it would be nice to go back to a world where sex and intimacy is special.  Because it SHOULD be!  Sex is easy to get – love… not so much.  This asshat decided to inform me that my opinion on the matter sounded like a highschooler.  That I’m naive and immature for thinking that and that I should just learn to embrace casual sex because that’s the new way of the world.  Cue my disgust.

Fine – maybe I am a naive highschooler.  *sigh* No… F-That!  I know I’m not.

Maybe I’m just a grown woman who’s realized what’s important to her.  Maybe I’m someone who allowed the world and society to re-shape my thoughts and opinions on sex and I regret it to some extent.  What I should have said to this lowlife of a man was “Fine – maybe YOU don’t think sex should be special – perhaps that’s why you’re ALWAYS on the hunt for your next victim and why you’ll forever wonder when you’ll find the right girl for you.  The right girl for you is obviously a blow up doll, you asshat!”

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Now don’t misunderstand – I’m not saying sex should ALWAYS be special – cuz sometimes quickies are awesome, and sometimes the mood calls for something else entirely – but I am a firm believer that I should know the ins and outs of someone’s heart and mind BEFORE I get to know their dick.  If that makes me old fashioned or naive… fine.  I’ll own that.

A few of my friends have been giving me relationship and dating advice – and truth be told, I occasionally seek out their opinions.  But this weekend, it dawned on me that perhaps I’m done seeking other’s thoughts on my life.  As much as I value my friends, and I value their opinions and experience on things, I also realized that I’m not them.  I don’t, and won’t make the same choices they do, when it comes to my life.  It was a freeing feeling… although I doubt they’d be very happy to hear it.

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On another topic:  My side business is booming.  I’m so shocked and surprised.  Last week -we put up a retail display at a massage clinic/chiropractor care clinic.  It was just meant to be a test to see what kind of interest we’d have and to see how the display shelves held up.  The idea was that we’d get 2 weeks of time under our belt before xmas just to see how things go.  I had convinced myself to not be disappointed if we didn’t sell anything.  Imagine my surprise when on day 2, I got a phone call that they needed more stock!  I restocked those shelves 3 times last week!!  I’m thrilled, and surprised, and excited!

This past weekend was full of experiments on some new scents and new products.  Yesterday, my daughter and I tested some of our experiments out.  So far – everything we tested has been burning beautifully.  Next week – I’m going to play with making soaps, and I won’t lie – I can’t wait!  If everything works out the way I hope it will – I’ll have some new additions to the product line in January!  It’s strange – I never imagined I’d get into this stuff – candles and soaps and skincare.  But I LOVE playing the mad scientist!!  It’s a blast!!

Well – I better get on with my day!  Much love to you Neverland.

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Something new to consider…

JenLeave a comment

The week is almost over…and it’s been one of epic proportions.  I’m so glad the day is almost over.  I’m so glad that tomorrow, my day will end early and allow me 5 whole days to unwind and reflect and relax.  To disconnect from work.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but when you’ve spent the last 4 months effectively trying to drink from a fire hose of information, you come to a point when you just need to disconnect.

This week was filled with a workshop for MBA student graduates.  New hires that go through a pretty intense program to get them from being a graduate – to being a valuable company player in 2 years.  It’s pretty intense.  The subject for the workshop was teaching them to think strategically and innovatively.  It focuses on the art of asking open ended questions, of brainstorming, and then working through a process to solve a problem rather than just immediately trying to solve for it.  I’ll admit, it’s a process very near and dear to my heart and one I’ve taught many of my teams over the years.  I was excited to see how they would approach teaching these 100 students.

Random side note:  The event was catered..and today – they had the cutest miniature desserts.  Had to share with you all.  🙂  It’s hard to tell – but these things are TINY.  the pies were about the size of a thumb.  So adorably cute – not to mention amazingly tasty.

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What I wasn’t prepared for, was how much speaking I’d have to do.  How much leading and questioning and pushing I’d have to do.  I thrive in that environment though.  I did what I tend to do… disarm them, make them comfortable, make them laugh, and then make them question every statement or idea they through out there.  🙂  Every hour, they’d go around the room and ask who asked the most profound question – and every dang hour they’d all point at me.  Made me laugh.  One of my co-workers chimed in and said – Gee Jen, it’s as if you’ve done this before!  hehe… you think?  🙂 But when I went home last night, I had a thought.  This is something I’ve participated in now many times, over the course of different companies and situations.  And it’s something I absolutely LOVE.  And I find that every time I’ve seen someone else teach it – I get frustrated by the fact that they so often miss a few key strategies that I’ve adopted over the years.  Maybe it’s a calling.. a sign that I need to consider teaching one of these courses myself.  I love to teach, the students all gave me some amazing feedback that really helped me see that maybe I’m not wrong.

I met a man a few years back who teaches a similar course to teams.  He’d focus on systems thinking and getting these teams to work together, he’d teach them brainstorming techniques and strategy techniques.  He was hired by companies all over the world, traveled all over the world teaching his techniques.  He was retired and during a break, he told me that he made more in retirement doing this kind of work than he ever did in his career.  It’s tempting.  It’s tempting to try and see what it would take to do this for a business.  To go to companies like facebook and Samsung and T-Mobile and Microsoft and teach my style, my process and way of breaking things down… I wish I knew what these other companies charge for these workshops.  I’ve worked with many companies doing these types of exercises and workshops. I’ve worked with IDEO, Teague, Frog design, I’ve worked with T-Mobile, and I’ve of course worked with Microsoft…. and over the years, my process has morphed and changed to get better. I’ve helped many teams build their strategy and plan their vision. It’s a skill I’ve honed and a task that I get very energized and fired up about. I’ve been told I am a great teacher, I always find a way to break down complicated things in ways people understand, I can speak their language. Funny, when I closed my small business 5 years ago, I said I’d never do it again.  I’d never be a small business owner again and wear all the hats that you have to wear.  Yes, I was successful, my business was successful for just under 6 years, but I was burnt out.  But here I am, seriously considering it again.  🙂

Good times!