It doesn’t matter whether it’s a problem or challenge that is large or small…. once you can accept it, everything else is just cake.
Acceptance. It’s something I’ve been learning to work on over the years. It’s something that I struggle with often. I’m impatient. But over the years, I’ve gotten a LOT better with it. It’s something I’ve had to learn with Ben, it’s something I struggle to conquer on a daily basis with all sorts of things. Work, bills, kids grades, relationships and friendships, roommates… any time there is stress or conflict, you have to come to terms with it. Accept that it is what it is so that you can plan out how to tackle it and move forward. If you find yourself facing a roadblock, yelling at it, or whining about it isn’t going to move it or get you around it. It is simply there. It took me many years, and friends speaking up to me for me to be able to see the problems with my ex, accept it, and get out. It was only once I accepted it that I could plan and change. And accepting it was a very scary proposition. Although looking back – I think.. “WHY?!” What the hell was there really to be scared about? Was it just the unknown? The potential stigmas and people who point out baggage? Was it the loss of the dream? Or was it my ego?
You see, I’m stubborn. I was raised to believe that nothing is impossible. That you never give in and you never give up. So for me, coming to acceptance about a problem seems to take me a bit longer to do. It feels a bit like giving in, or worse, quitting. But sometimes, I forget that you could be wasting valuable time and energy fighting to push a boulder up a hill that you don’t need to push. It takes lifting up and out of a problem to be able to see it though. Get a better look at the bigger picture, and perhaps you’ll see that making a mountain out what is likely to be just a small mole hill and maybe you’ll stop being a slave to the boulder you push.
I am very open and tolerant and accepting of people. I’m also very forgiving. Forgiving doesn’t mean I forget, mind you. It simply means that I’m willing to drop it and move forward. It is my philosophy that you should go live your life, and I will live mine. If our philosophy or outlook differs, no big deal, I will not judge you so long as you don’t disrupt mine too much. I tend to get frustrated however, with road blocks that are caused by other people. Live your life and be happy, so long as you aren’t hindering my ability to do the same.
Tonight, I realized that my frustration is stopping me from being able to move forward from it. And that my immaturity, and impatience is preventing me from seeing the big picture. Now that I’ve accepted my issue for what it is… I’m figuring out a few back up plans to make sure everything will still work out.
Bring on the cake!
Goodnight Neverland.
I ate pie tonight. Only had a small bite left before I realized I wanted a picture for this post, so you can have a picture of the best bite. The bite I always save for last. It was good. It was while I was eating it that I came to an interesting revelation. Life throws mean and nasty curve balls at us sometimes. Things that are unfair, things that stretch us to the point where we think we’re sure to break. We carry the weight of those choices around afterwards. Sometimes, life gets you down. The choice I am making is to be happy. It’s ok to just be happy. I’m not always going to make everyone else happy. That’s life. And there will certainly be times when I struggle or feel alone or down. That’s ok too. I think what I’m realizing is that it’s a choice you make, to allow yourself to be happy. Stop beating ourselves up, stop comparing ourselves, stop overanalyzing every problem or negative quality and truly embrace a moment to be happy.